Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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I eat ass

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.