In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.