Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

thumb_up thumb_down -67

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I refuse to forward chain letters

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.