- Things You Think Only You Do

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

Pee in the shower

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.