I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

open the fridge A eat food B think

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

thumb_up thumb_down -27

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.