Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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speak proper english

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.