When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

Play Minecraft

When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

open the fridge A eat food B think

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.