fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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wonder who wrote these things

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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Poop naked.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.