Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.