push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.