Try to see nipples through body paint.

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

Play Minecraft

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

Pee in the shower

i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.