Try to see nipples through body paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Play Minecraft

thumb_up thumb_down -64

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down -66

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -15

i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.