I eat ass

something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.