I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Pee in the shower

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.