I eat ass

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.