wonder who wrote these things

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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speak proper english

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Pee in the shower

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.