when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

Set Fire to the Rain

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

get caught up in youtube comment arguments

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

Pee in the shower

Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.