When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Pee in the shower

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.