Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Pee in the shower

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Does anyone else's mouse hand get colder then their other hand when they're on the computer?

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.