I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.