Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.