When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.