Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.