Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Eat ice by itself

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being super bored at shool

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.