Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Pee in the shower

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.