My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.