Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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wonder who wrote these things

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.