Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

thumb_up thumb_down -19

sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

thumb_up thumb_down -25

get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.