I apologize, when i bump against things.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Eat ice by itself

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.