I apologize, when i bump against things.

Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

It's hot but I still have on covers

Sitting next to a banana called James

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

Eat ice by itself

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.