When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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being super bored at shool

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.