When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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wonder who wrote these things

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Play Minecraft

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.