When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.