you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Pee in the shower

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.