Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.