Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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i see almost everything as a sign

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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speak proper english

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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I have short haircuts so I don't have messed up hair in the morning (It's a real time saver)

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.