- Things You Think Only You Do

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.