Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Eat ice by itself

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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sing like a pro in da shower

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.