- Things You Think Only You Do

never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.