I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Assume that on another planet or galaxy there are people just like humans that look exactly like me. Like an alternate universe.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.