Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Pee in the shower

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.