check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.