Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Pee in the shower

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Set Fire to the Rain

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.