sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Vote for the other guy

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.