think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.