Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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Finally understand the meaning of a song i used to like as a child....... Im a Barbie girl in a Barbie world-Noel

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.