when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Pee in the shower

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.