It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Vote for the other guy

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.