Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.