Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Poop naked.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.