Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.