I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Pee in the shower

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.