i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Feel like you're the only one pressured into giving gum away by your friends.

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Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.