I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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This song will not come out of my head!

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.