I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

Pee in the shower

Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

I sleep in my underpants every single night

sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.