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Clarksonisms
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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell
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-44
i see almost everything as a sign
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-56
When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.
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-56
Thinking your life is a movie...
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-66
I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.
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-82
Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around
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-82
when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself
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-86
Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol
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-116
When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better
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+19
Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough
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+15
Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.
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+1
Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!
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-1
Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet
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-5
Poop naked.
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-7
Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/
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-13
Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.
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-15
I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.
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-17
I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.
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-19
Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.
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-21
While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.
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-21
When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.
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-21
Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off
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-25
When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.
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-25
Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.
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-27
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.