I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.