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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.