Vote for the other guy

Set Fire to the Rain

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

I sleep in my underpants every single night

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.