I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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This song will not come out of my head!

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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i see almost everything as a sign

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Pee in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.