chewing icecream before you swallow it

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Vote for the other guy

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.