i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Poop naked.

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Write my own music without literally writing it on something even though I'm only grade 3

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.