Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

Run back into your room when your microwaving something

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

Pee in the shower

Wondering who would cry at your funeral

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

Pee in the shower

Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.