When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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If its dark and you have to go with rhe stairs i do that running because i tink somebody is behind my

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.