Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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Eat ice by itself

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.