I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.