I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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speak proper english

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.