Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Pee in the shower

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.