- Things You Think Only You Do

after a shower, try to shake the water off.

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

When doing your hair or makeup you pretend your doing a tutourial when nones around

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

Courtesy flush.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

Think about breathing...

Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.