When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.