Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.