When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I have never watched Star Wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

thumb_up thumb_down -44

read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Saying something stupid and then claiming it was an inside joke so you don't look stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

sing like a pro in da shower

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Set Fire to the Rain

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -68

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.