Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.