When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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wonder who wrote these things

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.