I have never watched Star Wars.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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sing like a pro in da shower

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Set Fire to the Rain

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.