sing like a pro in da shower

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.