The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.