Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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check shower for murder then pee

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.