think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.