Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.