wonder who wrote these things

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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Pee in the shower

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.