When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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I piss in the bed every night

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.