Think about breathing...

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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My parents are annoying.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.