never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.