Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Pee in the shower

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.