I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.