Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.