something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

thumb_up thumb_down -78

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

thumb_up thumb_down -120

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.