- Things You Think Only You Do

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

My parents are annoying.

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

I push the door open with my stomach

Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.