Stare off into space in the middle of a conversation

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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read some posts and then sit with friends and try to come up with some good things for this website

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Ur mum

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.