When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

This song will not come out of my head!

When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

Vote for the other guy

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.