When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.