i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

This song will not come out of my head!

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.