I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Worry a lot about the efficiency of your path when walking.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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do things without turning the lights on and feel like a ninja.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I never feel bored

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.