think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.