I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.