Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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right before I go to sleep, I think about a certain situation. so I will dream about that

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.