I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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I hate being called "buddy".

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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If I have a cold or runny nose, when I'm alone I stuff tissues in my nostrils so I don't have to keep blowing my nose sooooo much.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.