It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.