Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Hum up and down in pitch because it makes LED displays dance around.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.