sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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chewing icecream before you swallow it

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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This song will not come out of my head!

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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wonder who wrote these things

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.