It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

i always think people can hear my thoughts.

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

call someone by a siblings name.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.