I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Boinked my neighbor

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.