pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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wonder who wrote these things

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.