when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Pee in the shower

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.