Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.