When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.