When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Boinked my neighbor

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Talk to my cat.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Having gay sex

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.