Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

I play video games with the controller under the covers.

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

It's hot but I still have on covers

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

speak proper english

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.