I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When I fap at friends house, I use mobile data instead of his wifi incase history can be seen

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Putting salt on dry toast, yum!

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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While watching a movie, I hold my breath whenever there is a scene with the main character underwater just to see how long i would last in that situation.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.