Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -17

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

thumb_up thumb_down -23

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

thumb_up thumb_down -27

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

thumb_up thumb_down -35

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.