collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Boinked my neighbor

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Having gay sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.