spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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call someone by a siblings name.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.