When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Set Fire to the Rain

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Brake for tail-gaters

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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speak proper english

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.