When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.