sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

I hate being called "buddy".

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

I masturbate with sandpaper

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.