- Things You Think Only You Do

I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

It's hot but I still have on covers

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

when im alone and in a bad mood i make stupid faces with my eyes closed and try and figure out how stupid i looked. then i start laughing hysterically because i think that im an idiot. then i repeat this process until i have to pee from laughing so hard because im already in the bathroom so why not utilize the toilet, rather than waiting for a commercial and speed-peeing because im scared that i missed some of the show i was watching :D -Grace-

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

make mini paper airoplanes in boring lessons and pretend you are flying them

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Boinked my neighbor

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.