Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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k. everyone

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.