I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

thumb_up thumb_down -24

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I say random stuff when I wake up. Just to make sure my voice is still working.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

thumb_up thumb_down -40

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Feel like puhing the crap out of people who talk loud in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.