Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.