Boinked my neighbor

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.