sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I hate being called "buddy".

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.