When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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sing like a pro in da shower

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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look at bins as i walk past them

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.