Boinked my neighbor

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I pee in the shower. :3

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.