I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.