Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

I hate being called "buddy".

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

I masturbate with sandpaper

Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.