Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

When I was younger I used to challenge myself with touching the roof I would first jump and see if I could touch it then I would try and see how long I can touch it and now every once in a while I just touch it and think of how far I have come.

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Smelling food to see if its spicy.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.