Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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Courtesy flush.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.