Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.