Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.