Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Stepping on a LEGO block and instantly screaming and leap onto the bed.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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speak proper english

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.