sing like a pro in da shower

Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Boinked my neighbor

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.