When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.