Pretend my life is a videogame.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -59

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -63

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Boinked my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

thumb_up thumb_down -85

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -18

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thumb_up thumb_down -18

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -22

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.