- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.