When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.