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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.