Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.