Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Having gay sex

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.