I want to suck on your penis

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I rate certain songs on my iPod higher than others because if someone else is checking out my playlists, I don't want them knowing how much I really love that super cheesy song from the early 90's (even though every time it comes on, I hit repeat at least 3 times and sing aloud as loudly as I think I can get away with. I really, really love that song!).

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.