twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.