Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

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check shower for murder then pee

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.