taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When does eating pop corn, take apart the bag and lick all the extra butter.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.