Vote for the other guy

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Boinked my neighbor

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.