check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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when riding home on my bike with music on pretenend im in a race with no1 and commentate on iend get really exccited on the last straight especielly when a rocky soundtrack song comes on

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.