Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.