I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.