When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.