My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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i noticed that a lot of people pronounce "LOL" like roll. Am i the only one that reads it as L. O. L. (el oh el) ????

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.