say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Think about breathing...

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.