See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Boinked my neighbor

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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I never feel bored

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.