Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Boinked my neighbor

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.