I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.