if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I hate being called "buddy".

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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call someone by a siblings name.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.