While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Look at my poop before flushing

thumb_up thumb_down -25

After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

thumb_up thumb_down -29

I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Play as both sides on fifa

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.