Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.