When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.