sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

Look at my poop before flushing

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Think about breathing...

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.