Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

thumb_up thumb_down -34

While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -80

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

I chew around the center of carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.