Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.