Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

thumb_up thumb_down

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

thumb_up thumb_down -28

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

thumb_up thumb_down -32

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -40

It's hot but I still have on covers

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.