Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Whenever I am in a dark room at night, and there is a window with blinds with a light shining through, I stand in front of it and pretend I am wearing a striped prison jumpsuit.

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I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.