if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

I hate being called "buddy".

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

call someone by a siblings name.

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.