My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.