i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.