Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.