When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Pretend my life is a videogame.

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

Think about breathing...

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.