- Things You Think Only You Do

Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

check shower for murder then pee

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

Vote for the other guy

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.