- Things You Think Only You Do

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

i have my own way of eating every chocolate bar i eat, layer by layer

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.