I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Think about breathing...

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.