When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

I hate being called "buddy".

Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

Pretend my life is a videogame.

Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.