Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.