Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.