I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I meow when my cat meows.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.