When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.