I masturbate with sandpaper

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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say "ow" when your character in a video game gets hurt

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.