When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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THINK OF SOMETHING WEIRD YOU DO TO PUT ON THIS WEBSITE ONLY TO END UP FORGETTING IT BEFORE YOU GET ON THE COMPUTER

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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If I see the same model of vehicle as mine in a parking lot, I get overly excited if I manage to get a parking spot next to it. Extra points for same color or type (i.e. quad cab vs regular cab).

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I always find myself criticizing some commercials on television like the first time I see them I think nothing of it but the third or fourth time I think hey wait a second...

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.