When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

pee when you are dreaming haha lol

When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

I pee in the shower. :3

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.