When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

thumb_up thumb_down -75

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I pee in the shower. :3

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.