I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.