Scratch my scalp and look around the place if there is someone watching me (if no one does) quickly smell my fingers

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Make a little song with tiny breaths out of your nose

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.