Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.