When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

thumb_up thumb_down -45

When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

thumb_up thumb_down -89

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -147

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

thumb_up thumb_down +18

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.