Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Vote for the other guy

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.