- Things You Think Only You Do

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

I meow when my cat meows.

Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

Look at my poop before flushing

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.