Look at my poop before flushing

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Think about the same confusing random dilemas that dont involve me every week and alwaus come to the same conclusion

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.