The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Think about breathing...

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I like to watch online videos of people and pause the video mid sentence to see the faces they make frozen mid speech

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Look at my poop before flushing

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.