Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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I meow when my cat meows.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.