When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.