Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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I pee in the shower. :3

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.