When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.