- Things You Think Only You Do

When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

Vote for the other guy

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

wen on this website go look at the most disliked

Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

I push the door open with my stomach

Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

check shower for murder then pee

When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.