I think about other women when having sex

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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When sitting with my laptop on the sofa, and a family member is watching TV in the same room, chuckle occasionally at the screen, just so they know you're not watching porn or something.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.