Still record on VHS tapes.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.