I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Pretend animals talk to you!

When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

I chew around the center of carrots.

Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.