Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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check shower for murder then pee

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Always check the other side of the shower curtain when showering out of fear that someone is on the other side

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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Find that the kettle has recently been used and still contains hot water so decide to have a cup of tea just so that boiling that water wasn't a waste. Think that it might have cooled down by now. Reboil the water.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.