- Things You Think Only You Do

Boinked my neighbor

Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

Look at my poop before flushing

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.