I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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Wanting to be the Walmart baby model as a kid ^_^

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.