I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.