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Clarksonisms
Pointless Inventions
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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo
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+8
Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.
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+2
When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.
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+2
Sometimes I try to solve a math problem using my finger and my thigh, and when I make a mistake a erase it with my hand.
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+2
I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.
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-6
My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...
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-8
Wash my hands after i use the toilet.
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-10
When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing
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-14
I pee in the shower. :3
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-14
Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...
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-16
I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole
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-20
thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that
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-22
When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".
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-22
Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).
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-24
Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting
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-24
when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.
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-26
Surfing nsfw subreddit at work
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-26
Raising your hand in class, and once you're called on, you say, "I forgot."
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-28
When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.
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-30
Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?
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-32
Playing with a tiny piece of loose skin in the middle of my upper lip.
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-34
Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.
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-36
When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.
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-36
I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.
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-38
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.