i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Think about breathing...

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I am in class or somewhere boring I start getting thoughts of weird senerios like a group of zombies swamping the place or being hit by an earthquake etc and being one of the surivors. But then i realise that the possibility of that happening is incredibly slim and get depressed. Bananas!

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I meow when my cat meows.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.