Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.