Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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When you say bye to someone and keep walking in the same direction, and then its really awkward...

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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This is kind of embarrassing... after I watched "Truman Show" I went home and talked to my mirror like Jim Carrey does in the film.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.