Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Pretend my life is a videogame.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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spank it during my commute if I am in traffic

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.