I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Whenever I go to the toilet on an airplane I worry that during the time I'm there the plane will drop out the sky.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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I apologize, when i bump against things.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Showering with my uncle Jarrett <3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.