Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.