Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

thumb_up thumb_down -60

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Don't make a sound when sitting in the stall and someone walks in; and in turn, don't say anything to the person in the stall even if you know who it is!

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -104

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +35

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.