I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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When listening to music via headphones in public, I become paranoid that I am bothering everyone around me as my breathing becomes louder without me realising.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

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Get excited when your friends think your favorite song is cool.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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My parents are annoying.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.