as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.