When I'm walking on the sidewalk, I try to count and keep a steady rate of how many times I step on each slab of concrete.

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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i see almost everything as a sign

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.