Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Get random feelings of nausea and/or dizziness for no apparent reason.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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hate Justin Bieber

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I control water in the shower.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.