I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -17

??2????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +22

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -11

No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

thumb_up thumb_down +700

I try to fill the surface of the toilet water with bubbles when I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +261

Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,457

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,224

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.