I always cry when I pray.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I tell inanimate objects what to do.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Seperate your food on you dinner plate

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.