Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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when you say something and they go what? so you repeat it and they still didn't hear but once you say "forget it" they suddenly understood you perfectly.

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.