I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Randomly flexing random muscles after long time of sitting at the computer

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Smell my fingers after I pick u pennies or unlock the door with my keys!

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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If I hear a noise, it obviously means there is a monster somewhere in/near my bedroom and the sheets will protect me as long as they cover up to my chin.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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You know how there is that sound that gives you the shiver? Whenever you here it you shiver and tell that sound maker to shut up, but then can't stop thinking about that sound and find people looking at you and saying "Is it really that cold?" And then you stop thinking about the sound. P.S. I would like to say I have never relized how weird I am! This site has revealed my inner weirdness! -Astrid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.