after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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When you're full at a restaurant and leave your drink. One day you're thirsty and remember back to when you COULD have finished that drink.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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When i'm eating M&Ms, I save one of each color until the end so I can eat them all at once.

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.