i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I control water in the shower.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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I take receipts out of the ATM's disposal slot in order to see how much money people that I've never met have in their accounts.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.