When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

I was the real Stig...

Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

call someone by a siblings name.

After eating a banana I leave the last bit that was in the bottom

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

I constantly talk to myself.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.