I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

When you are speaking to someone with a distinct accent and suddenly take on the accent as your own when responding. - Missy Chemick

when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

I put my finger in jars of jam/yoghurt/honey etc then lick the finger and repeat and hope nobody see's me.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.