I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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Getting that huge shiver when you take a really good pee.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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R A P E Children

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Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Find something you dislike about your face/body and instantly compare it with every person you meet from then on

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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when someone says something like 'it's too late' i always start singing 'to apologizeeeeee' even though i think people are annoyed of me always singing along to their sentences and changing the meaning, but i just cannot stop it

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.