think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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Think I'm going to fall down when I step onto an esculator that's not moving.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

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Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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blink

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.