in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Say "ow" when I drop something or before I get hurt

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Pee in the shower

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.