Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I eat ass

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.