When your alone in the house you walk around naked even though there is no point

I can see a magic eye image

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Rereading a text message 25 times before you send it to make sure it makes sense.

When people are whispering you think they are saying bad things

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.