I control water in the shower.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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after ive done something, or experienced something. when i think back on the days events, i think to myself. "i think ive done that before somewere". i must have a boring existance. its always de ja vu with me.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.