Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I like to poo while smoking.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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every bite i have of a sandwich, i need to have a sip of a flavored drink to "soften the bread and make it taste good".

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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When I'm watching something or playing something and the character goes underwater, I hold my breath until the character reaches the surface. This is weird as hell, does anyone else do this?

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Think about breathing...

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.