Do a light cough when in the toilet when there isn't no lock on the door so Ur stop someone walking in!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Wear hoods and sweatshirts in the middle of summer

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I gotta get down of Friday

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You feel compelled to stab someone in the face... But you don't since you know its wrong. Instead you play violent video games to get it off your mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -98

I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Whenever I'm in the shower, I never close my eyes because I think someones gonna kill me

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.