I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Consider selling lots of books, games or DVDs when you have too many to fit perfectly on their shelf.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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misread flashlight

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

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Pick giant boogers and eat them.

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only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.