Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Go for a 10 mile run.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Go on this site to feel normal.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

thumb_up thumb_down +362

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

when you bleed you suck your own blood

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

thumb_up thumb_down +149

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

thumb_up thumb_down +315

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.