sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.