I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

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when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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I wish I was born again, but I had all of the knowledge I have now.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.

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while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.