Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

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Stick my tongue inside the ramen noodle flavor bag when im dne with it.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Pee in the shower

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I always leave a little coffee in the pot so that it becomes someone elses problem

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.