I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

I always think I have special powers

Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

hallo

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

When out I like to "people watch."

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.