If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

I talk to my pet when no one is home.

Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.