- Things You Think Only You Do

turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

Play Minecraft

Stab myself on a daily basis

before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

Take baths

Automatically lie to your dentist when they ask if you floss

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.