Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

thumb_up thumb_down +250

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

thumb_up thumb_down +151

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +185

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Wonder why there are sites like this.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

????????????????????C?????????

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I actually get stuck watching those rediculous infomercials late at night... Yeah - you're not alone. But no, I don't buy anything either... Lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.