If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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when i know that friends are coming to my place the next day i clean up my room and then i'm like...oh i forgot to clean up i'm sorry, it's always in a mess...

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I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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How many times is it okay to say "what" before just nodding and smiling?

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.