Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

Go for a 10 mile run.

Go on this site to feel normal.

My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

I have to check my closet for monsters so they don't get me while I sleep

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

Fill up a glass, drink half, then fill it up again.

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

when you bleed you suck your own blood

Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.