I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I always think I have special powers

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Doing something bad, then being ashamed because you think your dead family members watch you doing it saying tsk tsk

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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hallo

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.