apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

test how many stares you can scale in one step

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.