I think Frozen is an overrated film

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

I Masturbate Daily.

saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.