Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Can't stand it if something rubs against my knees up the way...if it happens i have to rub them down the way with my hands or they feel weird

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

thumb_up thumb_down -71

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hate Skydoesminecraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

trying to look cool when you're driving past other cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -16

really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -72

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Think to myself "If I would have stuck to my diet I would be at my goal weight by now"

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Get sharp pains in your chest whenever you're watching or reading a sex scene.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Afraid to do something your crush is doing so they don't think you're stalking them, even though you really want to. -B

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.