I think Frozen is an overrated film

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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when something on the internet is loading really long i close all the other tabs so my computer can concentrate only on one thing and then i get annoyed because i have to open up all the tabs again

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.