When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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If im eating food i shouldnt and i dont want anybody to know i jump if anyone comes in and catches me.

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i smoke weed all day.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.