When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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jack off

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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this is a terrible website and i hate you

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.