When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -24

When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,480

Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Am I the only one who wrote "free Candy" on the side of my van?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

thumb_up thumb_down -11

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -45

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

thumb_up thumb_down -7

See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I think about other women when having sex

thumb_up thumb_down -26

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.