get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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When taking trash up to the street, I always runback as fast as I can, counting down from 5, pretending there's a sniper about to shoot me.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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I'm 30, but to this day I still have fantasies about rescuing the girl that I'm secretly in love with from a dangerous situation. The fantasies get increasingly ridiculous, sometimes they even involve superhero stuff. It's as if my own mind was trying to let me know that I should grow the f*** up.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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When you get out of the shower and you're too lazy to get dressed, so you just hang around in a towel.

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Count how long it takes before you stop peeing.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Try to pet your cat with your foot.

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.