get home from work and masturbate instantly

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When im alone i have a conversation with myself

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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I rape small children ;).

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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even though you know you turned the light off, you have to go check before you can get to sleep

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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ASMR

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.