apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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On the bus think in your mind "I know you're reading my mind right now," and look for reactions.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.