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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Made after doomsday plans

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.