Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.