I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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when baking cookies I eat waaayyy too much of the dough, to the point that I don't even want any of the cookies when I am finished baking them.

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pick your nose and eat it

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.