I have a phobia of incest

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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Take baths

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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I read the down voted posts

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Before I go to bed I have to put one of my hands between my knees in order to warm up and get comfy.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Think someone's watching me so I do cool stuff to impress them just in case they are

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.