every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.