When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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fap

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

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Sleep with one leg on top of the covers and the rest of your body under them.

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If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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When im blazed i like of all the stupid shit i did that day but always tell myself "its fine, i didnt feel dumb about those things sober"

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Pick scabs and eat them.. and when i start bleeding suck the blood up with my mouth...

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.