Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

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when im losing an argument, ill start singing my responses

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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I have never disliked any video on YouTube with not many views ( no matter how bad it is ) because I feel bad for the uploader.

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Set Fire to the Rain

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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use cleverbot to chat to automated dating chat bots. even if i don't understand swedish.

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I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.