Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

try to give your friends spirit animals

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.