When i want to write a joke on anti jokes.com i laugh at my friends instead!

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

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Not being able to balance in heels because the insides are smothered in foot sweat. -_-

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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When I'm alone, I just randomly say "I know you're there so I would look awesome if someone was actually there.

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Totally piss myself off by thinking of future confrontations that probably won't happen.

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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When I see something on facebook i dont like, I like it just so i can unlike it.

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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Okay, so. I have this weird habit I've had for like a year now, and it's that I always have to touch things an even amount of times and touch them with the other had the same amount of times. I read it's OCD, which I sometimes experience symptoms of, but this one sticks out. Is this normal? What should I do? Should I ask if I do have OCD?

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.