I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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being super bored at shool

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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Every time I see my self in a mirror, I feel like I'm watching someone in a different dimension and make quick movements to see if they mess up.

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if i put my shirt on backwards, instead of taking my shirt off and putting it on right, i pull my arms in and just spin my shirt.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.