every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

incognito mode on google chrome

Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.