Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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I wonder if things are there because I see it and if I was not there to see it would it disappear?

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.