I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -90

When no one's at home, the house turns into an action movie set. Going to my room turns into sprinting up the stairs and purposely stumbling to give the effect that bombs are going off. And always make it to the room in time to hop on the last helicopter out of the jungle.

thumb_up thumb_down +212

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Reading the terms of service :O....

thumb_up thumb_down -34

if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

smoke marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

thumb_up thumb_down +202

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

thumb_up thumb_down +311

After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

thumb_up thumb_down +280

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -112

When you tell yourself that this is the last page you'll read and end up reading three more.

thumb_up thumb_down +241

During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down +514

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.