Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Count the number of letters in a word or phrase.

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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Whenever I read a book, in my head it all takes place at my own house, or some other familiar location.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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I invented this game in the bathroom called "start peeing before the light fully lightens up".Its kind of a challenge because if i actually succeed i might not pee in the right place.

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sit in the shower

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Check the toilet paper after wiping your ass

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Before I go to bed at night, I close the closet door so the monsters inside don't come get me while I'm sleeping.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.