When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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Whenever I have to carry a heavy box with both hands a long distance, my nose decides it's going to itchy.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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If I'm trying to read a clock or bulletin from far away, I instinctively stand and point at it.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Repeat the phrase "you too" after a comment someone makes that does not apply. Bob: happy birthday Jim Jim: you too bob. Awwww sh!t.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Start browsing a list of pics at the back, so I can see the order they were posted.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.