Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

Your mom

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.