Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

I push the door open with my stomach

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Vote for the other guy

Text random people saying I'm pregnant

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.