Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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draw the sun at the corner of the page

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get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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turn off the alarm clock one minute before its goes off when you wake up in the morning

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Run back into your room when your microwaving something

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I eat ass

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.