I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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Suddenly thinking that this is all a dream, and having to pinch yourself to make sure it isn´t. Or is it?

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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eat cake in a bowl with milk the way you would eat a bowl of cereal

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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I used to do almost everything an even number of times because I thought that if I didn't something bad would happen.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Sick the top of you fingers in your pants when you are doing something that requires one hand, like watching t.v

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When i go to the bathroom i have to lift my shirt up the whole way.

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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Post one on this site thinking everyone will love you but then you realize you're the 2,833 person to post on this site and no one will ever see it. If this is still where it was when I posted it, then congratulations! You've read through 300 FUCKING PAGES! (that meant go get a job)

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.