Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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I sometimes feel the desire to grab something fragile and - not out of anger, just because it would be funny - hurl it across the room to watch it explode.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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I've had a problem all my life with people thinking I'm a boy, (I'm a girl) so when I first meet someone, my instinct is to find some reason, (however stupid) to say that I'm a girl, (EX: "Can you believe that people actually think I'm a boy?" like when I just meet them).

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.