close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

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When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.