I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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incognito mode on google chrome

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When a person tells you: Oh you like Lana Del Rey? Me:No,I like the wall

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okay,So we bought a 1000 piece puzzle and made a point to put it together when it was done we found that it was missing a piece so we went back to the same store bought the same puzzle and went through it until we found the missing piece then returned it.

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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fart

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.