dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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My goal is to get as much as possible thumbs down at this post.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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did you notice if you travel: when your going to the place feels like 10 hours but when going home feels like 4 hours

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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After having an argument with your partner you text them later then halfway thru the text you forget hat you were going to say back track and tell them you love them! "didn't matter really did it lol"

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Does anyone else look at people when there talking and then randomly get in on there conversation.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I put morals on posts to get a thumbs up. Moral: Posts with morals get thumbs up.

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lie on the couch with my head upside-down and imagine what it'd be like to walk around on the ceiling, and if you were to flip the house over so the floor's the ceiling, what you'd have to nail down to keep in place.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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misread flashlight

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.