close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

Videotape my mother in the shower.

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

When walking outside by myselff and listening to music, I mouth the words and pretend im the singer of the song in their music video.

When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

When Im bored in a house that has leafy/floral wallpaper I follow the stem with my finger all the way up to the top of the wall and then go back down again and think of a route that gets you all the way to the other side of the wall.

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

When walking on an old looking bridge I try to get off quickly and before anyone else gets on there because all I can think about is it giving way and me falling to my death/being very wet

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.