Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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Pee in the shower

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Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

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forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.