Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Vote for the other guy

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.