I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I can see a magic eye image

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When I'm bored I think of what it would be like to be a women.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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If no one else is home and you have to go to the bathroom, but you're invested in what you're doing on your laptop, you take it with you.

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One time I went to my old primary school and while I was there I needed the toilet. So I go use the schools and was shocked at how small everything was I guess because I haven't been there in a while

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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When you can't be bothered to go to the toilet so you stay watching tv or going on your laptop while trying to hold it in.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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if someone posts something disgusting but true on this same site, rethink pressing the "thumbs up" button out of embaressment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.