Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

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play my ipod all night till my eyes hurt

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Mayada stupid

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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Lie in bed and wonder what happens whe you die, get depressed and come on this site for reassurance

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Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Stay up late on the weekdays and go to bed early on the weekends ..... What is wrong with me?

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Every time i take a drink from a cup, i rotate the cup so i never drink from the same place.

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.