I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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Write "my opinion thinking-aloud-sentences" on the "circle the answer" test as footnotes when I'm not sure about the answer.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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Instead of having a nasty breaking up, I just disappear.

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??2????????????????????

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.