Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

Sitting next to a banana called James

"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

Pee in the shower

Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

When I have nothing do do in Life Science I read the textbook.

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.