After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I look at this site and wonder if the thumbs up are all from people who actually do the same thing, or just people who like that or think it's a funny thing to do.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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Imagine that other people see colors different from me and if i had their brain i would see it like them

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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I mustn't step on the cracks in the pavement

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.