Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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I gotta get down of Friday

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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i cant fall asleep unless i suck my thumb...

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I tuck all sides of the blanket under my body and feet then over my head and leave a fresh air hole so im in a cocoon of blanket.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

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For the long meaningless comments below: I choose to decide to thumb the comments down and see them gone forever! Moral: Thats right, I spend less time on the webs, but here I am.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.