When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

thumb_up thumb_down -30

In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When in a public bathroom and others are in there, pretend to fix your clothes/hair until everyone has left before you use it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

thumb_up thumb_down -34

flushing the toilet eventho not yet finish pee-ing. So that the water sucks it right after the last drop of your pee. Saves 2-3seconds of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

thumb_up thumb_down +648

Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

thumb_up thumb_down -27

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.