I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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fap

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.